As the summer of 2021 gets into full swing people are getting back to their lives. The pre-weirdness kind of life where people can be together in work and play. I’m just not sure that I want it all back.

Our lives were frenetic. Each day crammed with a multitude of activities that were not all consciously chosen. Work, sports, Scouts, practices, conferences, meetings. My life was relegated to only the things I could fit in around these obligations. And now that things are ramping back up, and I’m sitting here struggling to accomplish the activities for school I have been voluntold in to performing, I kinda miss the days without expectations. The ability to actually chose what I want to do or accomplish, instead of just riding the surf of requirements.

It’s no shocker that I’m actually an introvert, and love quiet time. I spend my days singing and dancing to entice 5 year olds to learn, so quiet time is a luxury. Curling up to read a good book, the solitude of a long run, even the act of taking my time to write this is luxurious. But the pandemic not only helped me realize it, but it actually let me claim it. When the world gets too much, I need my time. No regrets.

It also made me more decisive in my activities. Going out to the store was dangerous and scary, so there was real thought into your activity choices. I miss that.

It also made me brave. Yes, brave. Not only in the action of leaving my house, but standing up for myself. I marched, wrote and called my Senators like never before. I wasn’t afraid to let my voice be heard and when others were making decisions that affected my life.

I was also brave in other ways. I dyed my hair purple. I snuck across the border when the states were on lockdown to buy a boat, and drove it thru back roads to avoid the blockade because I had neither the title nor a tag on the trailer. I took a music theater class and performed solo singing. Not once, but TWICE!

I miss the person who was brave enough for those things. I hope a part of her remains.