It seems that today I must write the obligatory 2012 Year in Review Blog Post. Truthfully, I don’t want to. Quite frankly, 2012 sucked. We survived the end of the Mayan calendar, another presidential election, and the breakup of Ashton and Demi. Personally, It took a 6 month assault to remove the rodent infestation in our home that started last Christmas just in time for some douche-bag-crack-head to break in and steal our electronics and jewelry; and I went back to teaching elementary school the year that another asshole takes a gun into one and mows down kindergarteners. So 2012, you can officially leave – let me open the door with my middle finger.
There are upsides to every year, of course. So I’m going to put some here in this completely unscientific, unreliable, unproven and unapologetic list.
Mom Moment of the Year: Lightening McQueen Halloween Costume. This was my best cardboard box costume yet! (Ok, and my first one). But I was pretty impressed with myself when all Lane wanted to be for Halloween was Lightening McQueen – you know, a car. Of course, this was followed by the Mom-Fail of the Year, Lane refused to put it on, have his picture taken, or go Trick-or-Treating.
Quote of the Year: “I’m not going to lie to you, if you give me $10, I’m going to go get a beer and a blowjob.” A panhandler in Miami told me this when we were tailgating for Jimmy Buffett back in January. I’d had a few margaritas, and this made me laugh, so I gave him $5 and told him life was full of tough choices.
Craft Project of the Year: Song lyrics on canvas. I made these for my songwriting BFF after I gone on a wild Pinterest bender. I wrote about the process on a blog back in June, and knew I had gotten them right when he looked me dead in the eye after I presented them to him and said “I hate you.” Men. Seriously.
Run of the Year: Through the Louvre, Paris. In the spring I was working from home, and it was easy to travel. The running club in Paris was celebrating their 800th run, and we figured it sounded like a damned good time to cash in frequent flyer miles. This was the third run of the weekend, and dubbed the Hangover Run, since it followed the main Saturday run and big party on Saturday night. The main trail was 7 miles. The Hangover Run was **9 miles**. Apparently the French are quite functional with hangovers. This was the tourist run, so we started near the government buildings, ran past the Sorbonne, some gorgeous fountains, and literally through the middle of the Louvre. We had an impromptu beer check in the gardens out back of the museum. It was just plain fun.
Song of the Year: Everyone Else is an Asshole, Reel Big Fish. When I first took my new teaching position this year, we had – shall we say – difficult moments at the beginning of September. (um, actually 12 teachers quit in the first 2 weeks, it was crazy!). So I played this song for my officemate one day and she thought it was hysterical. In fact, she decreed that we needed to start every department meeting by locking the door and dancing to this song. And we did. Even though she switched departments, she still comes into my office, closes the door, and we dance when we have one of *those* teaching days.
Concert of the Year: Kid Rock. This was a late entry, since we just saw him last night (December 30th), and it was totally unplanned. (“Hey, what do you want to do with that money your grandmother gave us for Christmas? Blow it on a concert and babysitter? Sure!) It was a good show, and because we went with the cheaper General Admission option, I spent the entire show about 10 yards from stage being sweated on by over age hipsters wearing Ed Hardy gear and singing “I”m a Low Life” at the top of their lungs. Classic.
Concert Outfit of the Year: Poison/Def Leppard. I could also file this under Most Fun Concert of the Year as well, since I went with my guitar-playing BFF and the guys in front of us were having an Air Guitar Contest – which we fully participated in. Combine that with the can of Aquanet and pound of blue eyeshadow I donned to make the night a true throwback, and it was everything that Hair Metal should be: stupid awesome fun.
Best Fake Band: HELLAgoodTIME. We may not have as many
parties gigs to play for as we had in the past, but we certainly didn’t stop being a fake band on YouTube. Actually, we wrote a couple of songs, covered a couple of songs, and managed to put our HGT bumpersticker next to Jim Morrison’s grave in Paris. I call that rock and roll. And you should REALLY like our Facebook page, just saying.